March

So March 11th is coming up. To you it may be insignificant (unless you are Shan, then it's your birthday!). The last time I ever talked to my dad was March 11th, 2001. I only remember because he called me while I was at Shannon's for her birthday. Throughout the year I don't care and it doesn't bother me, but there's something about an "anniversary" of sorts that gets memories going. I think what bothers me the most is he was so worried about what to do about me being on their car insurance when there were more pressing matters. He let that be the last day we ever spoke. He never fought for me to be in his life. This year we are going on 8 years. It's hard to believe I've gone 8 years of my life without a dad. I can honestly say I've been happier without him. It's horrible, I know. What kind of a daughter could say that, right? But it's true. I just think of all the negative things I've missed out on and I know my life is happier without him. I'm just bothered by the fact that I'm not important enough to him for him to fight for me to be in his life. Especially now that I am a mother, I don't understand how you can let your kids walk away and be okay with it. I've made my peace with him the best I know how and I have made peace with myself about my decision. I have no regrets and no "what ifs". I just get an occasional thought of how can he live with himself for letting go. At least now I have an example of what NOT to do!! And I can't believe I just wasted a post for this!